I was intending to get this post about Blake’s surgery out last night. But by the time we got home last night we were all so emotionally and mentally tired that all we wanted to do was go to bed and forget the day. I do want to thank all the people who commented and messaged us to send their thoughts and prayers. Eugene & I are both so grateful for the support you gave us during Blake’s surgery.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to write this post but during the I posted notes in my phone memo on what happened in the day and how we were feeling as it happened. Kind of like a diary. It’s quite raw but I’ve decided to just post it as it was written without editing it. I guess it will give you a more realtime insight to the emotional stress we were feeling.
Blake hasn’t had anything to eat since 7 am. He’s hungry and bored. We are on our way to hospital for a 1 pm surgery time. Eugene and I are nervous as hell right now. Blake is our first child to require surgery of any kind. Blake is oblivious. As far as he’s concerned, it’s just another appointment. He knows he is having surgery but doesn’t actually understand what that means.
We are second on the surgery list. However an emergency eye surgery has taken precedence which could take up to an hour and a half. Only one parent is allowed through the door into the ward at a time so Eugene is still in the waiting room while I sit with Blake for the first shift. To keep my hands busy from my nerves I brought my knitting. Blake has been given some colouring in to do.
The nurse has just checked Blake’s vitals and given him a dose of pamol. I am a bundle of nerves. Blake is happily colouring in his second picture.
The emergency surgery has finally come out and the child in front of us on the waiting list has finally gone in. Eugene and I have swapped twice already and I’m on the 3rd shift of waiting by Blake’s side for him to go into surgery. Blake has spent the afternoon watching netflix on my phone. Thank goodness for mobile data. He has been so patient and calm all afternoon. I’ve been on tenterhooks all afternoon and feeling on edge.
Blake has just gone into surgery. I was allowed into the room long enough for him to go to sleep with the gas mask. Now we’re having something to eat and a coffee while we’re waiting for Blake’s surgery to be over.
Blake is still in surgery. We’re back in the waiting room. I’m so close to tears and running on nerves. We are worried and scared and nervous. We can hear the child who was before Blake crying. Eugene thought it was Blake until I listened and and said it wasn’t. My head feels like it’s going to explode with tension and nerves.
Blake is out of surgery. He’s gone to the recovery room. Eugene and I are waiting until we can go in to see him. We are both anxious. Eugene is walking the floor. I am just barely keeping together. I just want to hold my son and make sure he is alright.
We have finally been allowed to see Blake. Blake is disorientated and frightened from not being able to open his eyes yet. He is crying and screaming. It is breaking my heart.
We are finally discharged from the hospital. Blake is still sore but he can open his eyes. We are rewarding him with an ice cream from McDonald’s because that is all he is up to. The nurse said to keep food light tonight so he doesn’t get sick. We are waiting in the drive through now. I am having an ice cream too. I’m not up to anything heavier. I am so relieved that my boy is feeling better and that we can bring him home.