You might have noticed that I’ve been a little quiet on most of the social media platforms over the last couple of weeks. It wasn’t intentional but it ended up being necessary for my mental health after my resurgence of my postnatal depression. Let’s call this quietness, a mental health break, shall we?
It Just Got Too Much
Literally. Everything just got too much for me. Between Mum in hospital, Celine having her own little trip to the hospital, having the children 24:7 with no breaks and not being able to go walk the dogs. Not to mention trying to keep up with VEDA and blogging commitments. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I pretty much receded into shutdown mode out of self-preservation. Especially from social media. To put it kindly, I’ll call it a mental health break.
Mental Health Break
Even once Mum came home it took a while for me to come out of self-preservation mode. I continued my mental health break for a further week. I basically put in minimum effort into everything and I really have to thank Eugene for picking up some of the slack during this time. I don’t think I could have come out the other side of the tunnel as well as I did without his support.
It’s hard not to have regrets about the mental health break that I took. For one thing, it means that I won’t be able to complete VEDA. Not in the way that I wanted. Too much time has passed and I’m behind by far too many videos to catch up. Not without reverting back into shutdown mode.
For another I wasn’t as present or as patient for my kids as I would normally be. I let negative behaviour slide and completely neglected the positive behaviour. There were far more arguments between myself and the kids than there needed to be. I pretty much clocked out as soon as Eugene got home.
Which probably means I wasn’t present much as a wife either. Sorry Eugene. I know I let you down a lot these last couple of weeks. Especially in the housework department.
My biggest regret is on how far I had come in my PND journey only to relapse at the slightest hardship. I had weaned off the antidepressant medication that I was on. I was taking regular walks in the fresh air to help balance myself. I was managing my depression. So it really feels like I failed by having a setback.
Getting Back On Track
Now that I’m coming out from the other side of my mental health break, I’m going to try to get back on track. While I won’t be trying to catch up on VEDA, I will be trying to get the two family life vlogs edited and uploaded this week so that I can get back into normal schedule for next week. After today’s post, I will hopefully also be back on track for the normal blog schedule as well.