Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It is an important day to remember and acknowledge those babies who didn’t make it. The babies we will never see grow up. Rather than write a whole new post about it however, I decided to edit and repost the post I wrote last year about my own experience with a miscarriage and the baby I never had.
1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss.
It’s a scary thought that so many women have gone through this. Some women have support during this horrible time. Other’s suffer their tragedy in silence. But those who have gone through it are many.
My own mother lost 4 of her 8 pregnancies. Some early on in gestation, others much later. Her first pregnancy was lost and the 3 pregnancies between myself and my next sibling up were lost. I was her last baby.
I had my own miscarriage at the end of September 2010. Hubby and I had only just started trying for our second child when Celine was 2.5 years old. We were successful in getting pregnant as soon as we started trying after I had the Mirena IUD removed. Unfortunately when we were 6 weeks along I started spotting. It wasn’t a good sign. An ultrasound confirmed our worst fears. The baby sack had already come away from the womb wall and there was no heartbeat.
We were devastated.
It took another 7-8 months before we finally managed to conceive Blake. It was a difficult time period for us. Every month when only the control line on the test would show up every day of testing until my period would arrive brought tears and frustration.
We never forgot our Angel baby. The baby we never got to see grow. We still think about what he or she may have been like. Celine still talks about the baby that lives in Heaven instead of on Earth with our family. Even now, 5 years later I still remember the pain of being told that the baby was already gone. My heart still breaks.
But without the loss of that baby, we would never have met our son Blake. Our family wouldn’t be the family we are now. Our children wouldn’t be who they are now.
So acknowledge the losses that we have had and love the children we did get to keep.
Each one of them are precious.