How to not clean your room in 50 easy steps!

This weekend Celine was told to clean the bedroom she and Dani shares. Since Dani is only 2 and the majority of the things covering the floor happen to be Celine’s this was only fair. Obviously if it had been mostly Dani’s stuff on the floor it would have been Mummy cleaning it instead. Celine was instructed to do this on Saturday morning and we were still waiting for a clean room on Saturday afternoon!

And because I can’t resist trying to find humour in a situation that would otherwise have me screaming in frustration – here is a step by step how to clean a room taking up the whole weekend: Celine style!

how not to clean your room
The pile of clothes
Celine wouldn’t put away.
  1. Whine for at least 5 minutes about being made to clean her room.
  2. Stomp into bedroom yelling at younger siblings.
  3. Sit on bed sulking for 20 minutes.
  4. Sneak out when Mummy and Daddy go out to run errands and Nana is in charge to play.
  5. Sulk when Mummy and Daddy come home after lunch and ask if room is clean yet.
  6. Half-heartedly pick up the dirty school uniform she was told to put in the wash basket the night before and throw on bathroom floor for washing.
  7. Kick a few items under the bed.
  8. Come out and ask for something to eat.
  9. Stomp back to bedroom when asked if room is clean yet.
  10. Yell at brother to get out of room.
  11. Change clothes.
  12. Muck around on keyboard for 10 minutes.
  13. Close wardrobe door with pile of clean clothes she was meant to put away lying on the floor.
  14. Come out and pretend she has finished.
  15. Sulk when Mummy checks room and tells her to clean it properly, including picking up and putting away the clothes she tried to hide.
  16. Read a few books to pass time. 
  17. Play with siblings.
  18. Ask for food again.
  19. Ask for a drink.
  20. Muck around for an hour in her room.
  21. Try to sneak out to the lounge to watch tv with siblings.
  22. Stomp back to room when caught.
  23. Ask if it’s dinner time yet.
  24. Nark on siblings who have helped themselves to the lollies in the pantry.
  25. Sulk when asked why she was even out of her room.
  26. Muck around in front of mirror until dinner time.
  27. Pout when told she will have to stay in her room on Sunday until she has cleaned it.
  28. Go to bed.
  29. Wake up in morning and play in lounge until caught by Daddy and reminded she has to clean her room.
  30. Kick a few more things under the bed.
  31. Ask if she can have breakfast.
  32. Sulk when told to get back to her room after breakfast.
  33. Play with siblings in bedroom.
  34. Play keyboard some more.
  35. Convince brother to sneak her a packet of chips from the cupboard.
  36. Yell at siblings for not helping.
  37. Push brother out of bedroom and shut door on him.
  38. Put a few more items of clothing into bathroom.
  39. Chuck some toys into brother’s room claiming they’re his.
  40. Ask if it’s lunchtime yet.
  41. Push everything under bed, to hidden side of dresser and into wardrobe. Shut wardrobe doors.
  42. Tell Mummy and Daddy that she has finished cleaning her room.
  43. Stomp feet when Mummy checks and points out all the messy hiding spots.
  44. Try to pile all the clothes into the bathroom in the hopes Mummy won’t notice they’re clean.
  45. Stomp back to room with clothes when caught.
  46. Sulk for half an hour doing nothing.
  47. Finally start putting away clothing by chucking into any drawer she can fit it.
  48. Leave mess under bed and beside dresser in hopes Mummy won’t notice at lunchtime.
  49. Sulk when Mummy notices after lunch and tells her to clean it up.
  50. Finally clean messes.
Just kidding. She stuffed everything left over into Danielle’s wardrobe instead.

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